so its been quite a while since i've finished a song. i've started several, but if you're a songwriter, you know that that is often an incomplete process. i tend not to write a lot of songs, but try to put a lot into the ones i write... which doesn't necessarily make them better... just keeps me from writing a lot of them. heh.
at any rate, its interesting how sometimes in songwriting... for me anyway... i write a piece of a song, thinking it's going in a certain direction, then can't finish it... then at a later time, the rest of it comes, and i realize the reason i didn't finish it is because i hadn't yet lived the experiences that would write the song. this is one of those. i'm limited on time, so i won't make good on my typical tenedency to probably over-write a novel legnth preface to posting lyrics... but then, maybe that's the best with lyrics... to let others get out of it what it means to them.
i will say this, though. relationships with people are hard. and i'm not speaking just of romantic relationships... though that's included... but i mean a more broad sense of the word. all relationships. they're hard because our hearts, because of sin, are more interested in our own good than the good of others. when wronged, we want to justify ourselves. when hurt, we want to defend. when people let us down, we want to throw our hands up and say, 'screw it! i don't need people.' at least i know i see these responses in myself. but that's not how Christ loved. His love preceded His demand. He didn't wait for us to commit and demonstrate our loyalty before He extended His unconditional love. now, His love demands response, yes... but that's another conversation. but i think its consistent with scripture to say that He first loved us, when we were unlovely. 'but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.' -romans 5.8
at any rate... this song is fruit of my own wrestling with this. in ideal, i should love like Christ did. in reality, i battle my own sin and selfishness. this is a conflict that i'm confident will demand my attention for the duration of my life... but praise God there is growth in grace.
love, to give
(c) 2009 joshua codispoti
i'm weary of this war
why does a battle rage between what's right and what is real?
there's gotta be a love
that's bigger than subjective wax and wain of how we feel
but here i stand, with blood on my hands
as guilty as the next man of the crimes that i oppose
but i want to love
to give of myself
without thinking of myself
to put your good above my own
i want to embrace
to spread wide my arms
without the fear of a knife
cause what is love if it's not a sacrifice?
this isn't black and white
it never was
so why am i so unsettled by the grey
sure, wrong is on your side, but its on mine too
though my pride would have you bearing all the blame
but we're all sinners, and my heart it feels the sting
of what loving people brings
when love for self gets in the way
but i want to love
to give of myself
without thinking of myself
to put your good above my own
i want to embrace
to spread wide my arms
without the fear of a knife
cause what is love if its not a sacrifice?
love is patient, love is kind
says your good is worth more than mine
bears all things, does not insist on its own way
its own way
i search for what is real
and find the Lover of my soul
and how my heart must make Him feel
i claimed love a million times
then i played the whore
and sold myself for whatever promised thrill
but it was then, when hate ran through my veins
He was the display of grace that gives love before demand
and because of that love...
i want to love
to give of myself
without thinking of myself
to put your good above my own
i want to embrace
to spread wide my arms
without the fear of a knife
cause what is love if its not a sacrifice?
11.24.2009
9.23.2009
the angels rejoice...
my small group wrapped up our study of daniel last night. what an awesome study it's been! i could write at legnth about it with no problem... and maybe i'll take that up another time. but in my prep study through chapter 12, the final chapter, i was really struck by one thing in particular. its kindof a rabbit trail off the main course of the chapter (or actually three chapters, as 10-12 are one conversation). so the setting is daniel standing on the Tigris riverbank and an angel appears and hovers over the river. daniel 5-6 -- obviously angelic... body like crystal, face like lightning, eyes like flaming torches, arms and legs gleaming like burnished bronze, and whose single voice echoed as a multitude of voices (notice the similies here... it was too outside of daniel's box for definition, so all of his descriptions are comparisons to things he does understand). so daniel responded probably like most of us would -- vs 8-9, he freaked and passed out! the angel raises him up, he regains conciousness, and they begin a conversation... and that's chapters 10-12.
ever watch a movie where the camera perspective keeps changing back and forth, so you see things from different perspectives? 'vantage point' is one i can think of - great flick! (unless you're my friend amy, who just kept getting pissed off at having to watch the same events over and over... lol!) well, daniel seems to have this perspective shift from natural to supernatural and back again... and at times they collide, and you see that they actually have tangible interaction. daniel granted interpretation of visions and dreams (ch 2, 3, 5)... the fourth figure in the furnace (ch 3)... the closing of the lions mouths (ch 6)... visions and angels showing up to interpret them to daniel (7-12)... a demon assigned to Persia delaying the angel's response to daniel's request and connected implication that conflicts on earth reveal ongoing spiritual warfare in heavens (ch 10). anyway... all that to say that i've been intrigued by the ongoing collision of natural and supernatural in the book of daniel. so yeah... all that to preface... 8)
in chapter 12, as this conversation at the riverbank continues... daniel notices (apparently for the first time during this convo) that there are two other angels standing there... one next to him and one on the other side of the river. one of them then asks the angel hovering over the river, 'how long shall it be till the end of these wonders?' so now we have an angel, standing there with daniel, obviously curious about this whole drama unfolding.
that got me thinking... two things. first, there are angels watching the events on earth. second, they don't know what's coming and they're curious about it. so i started looking up some stuff about angels watching events on earth and what stokes their fires. if you're not curious about angels for the sake of angels... i'm with you... angels don't really get me that excited and i'm not trying to too make much of them. but stick with me here...
there are 5 things in Scripture that made the angels in heaven rejoice. by themselves, they're interesting. but to ovserve the theme when you look at them in sequence is awesome!!
1. job 38.4-7 :: '...the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy.' -- this is an account of creation. 'morning stars sang together' references the creation of light, and 'sons of God' here represent the pre-humanity host of heaven before God's throne. so the angels rejoiced over the creation of the earth.
2. luke 2.13-14 :: 'and suddenly there was with the angel [announcing Christ's birth to the shephards] a multitude of heavenly host praising God and saying, 'glory to God in the highest...' here, the angels rejoiced over the arrival of Jesus as man on the earth.
3. luke 15.7-10 :: '... just so, i tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.' here, we have the angels getting stoked over the salvation of sinners! noticing the trend yet?
4. revleation 5.9-12 :: '...and they [living creatures and elders] sang a new song, saying, worthy are You to take the scroll and open its seals, for You were slain, and by Your blood you ransomed people for God frome very tribe and language and people and nation ... and i heard around the throne... the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, 'worthy is the Lamb who was slain...'' so here, we have thousands of thousands of angels rejoicing in the arrival of the ransomed Church of God in heaven!
5. revelation 19.1-7 :: '...i heard what seemed to be the loud voice of a great multitude in heaven, crying out, 'hallelujah! salvation and glory and power belong to our God, for His judgements are true and just; for He has judged the great prostitute who corrupted the earth with her immorality, and has avenged on her the blood of His servants. ... then i heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude... crying out... 'hallelujah! for the Lord our God the Almighty reigns...'' lastly, here, we have the angels in heaven rejoicing as God accomplishes the final judgement of Satan and returns to reign!
progression :: creation of the earth --> the arrival of Christ as man to be the ransom for sinners --> the actual salvation of sinners --> the arrival of the ransomed church in heaven --> the final judgement of evil and Christ's return to reign, victorious, forever!
1 peter 1.12 says, about the things of God's salvation of sinners... 'thing into which angels long to look.'
what stokes the angels? what gets these heavenly beings, who've never sinned and enjoy the physical presence and glory of God even right now, absolutely rivited with suspense? its exactly what we should be getting stoked about! the story of redemption!
let us not think that when this life is over, we'll be done with the gospel! revelation 5.11-12... even HEAVEN never gets over the gospel! the angels and the saints around the throne are worshiping right now in the SAME reality our worship should be founded in!!
'WORTHY is the LAMB who was SLAIN!'
ever watch a movie where the camera perspective keeps changing back and forth, so you see things from different perspectives? 'vantage point' is one i can think of - great flick! (unless you're my friend amy, who just kept getting pissed off at having to watch the same events over and over... lol!) well, daniel seems to have this perspective shift from natural to supernatural and back again... and at times they collide, and you see that they actually have tangible interaction. daniel granted interpretation of visions and dreams (ch 2, 3, 5)... the fourth figure in the furnace (ch 3)... the closing of the lions mouths (ch 6)... visions and angels showing up to interpret them to daniel (7-12)... a demon assigned to Persia delaying the angel's response to daniel's request and connected implication that conflicts on earth reveal ongoing spiritual warfare in heavens (ch 10). anyway... all that to say that i've been intrigued by the ongoing collision of natural and supernatural in the book of daniel. so yeah... all that to preface... 8)
in chapter 12, as this conversation at the riverbank continues... daniel notices (apparently for the first time during this convo) that there are two other angels standing there... one next to him and one on the other side of the river. one of them then asks the angel hovering over the river, 'how long shall it be till the end of these wonders?' so now we have an angel, standing there with daniel, obviously curious about this whole drama unfolding.
that got me thinking... two things. first, there are angels watching the events on earth. second, they don't know what's coming and they're curious about it. so i started looking up some stuff about angels watching events on earth and what stokes their fires. if you're not curious about angels for the sake of angels... i'm with you... angels don't really get me that excited and i'm not trying to too make much of them. but stick with me here...
there are 5 things in Scripture that made the angels in heaven rejoice. by themselves, they're interesting. but to ovserve the theme when you look at them in sequence is awesome!!
1. job 38.4-7 :: '...the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy.' -- this is an account of creation. 'morning stars sang together' references the creation of light, and 'sons of God' here represent the pre-humanity host of heaven before God's throne. so the angels rejoiced over the creation of the earth.
2. luke 2.13-14 :: 'and suddenly there was with the angel [announcing Christ's birth to the shephards] a multitude of heavenly host praising God and saying, 'glory to God in the highest...' here, the angels rejoiced over the arrival of Jesus as man on the earth.
3. luke 15.7-10 :: '... just so, i tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.' here, we have the angels getting stoked over the salvation of sinners! noticing the trend yet?
4. revleation 5.9-12 :: '...and they [living creatures and elders] sang a new song, saying, worthy are You to take the scroll and open its seals, for You were slain, and by Your blood you ransomed people for God frome very tribe and language and people and nation ... and i heard around the throne... the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, 'worthy is the Lamb who was slain...'' so here, we have thousands of thousands of angels rejoicing in the arrival of the ransomed Church of God in heaven!
5. revelation 19.1-7 :: '...i heard what seemed to be the loud voice of a great multitude in heaven, crying out, 'hallelujah! salvation and glory and power belong to our God, for His judgements are true and just; for He has judged the great prostitute who corrupted the earth with her immorality, and has avenged on her the blood of His servants. ... then i heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude... crying out... 'hallelujah! for the Lord our God the Almighty reigns...'' lastly, here, we have the angels in heaven rejoicing as God accomplishes the final judgement of Satan and returns to reign!
progression :: creation of the earth --> the arrival of Christ as man to be the ransom for sinners --> the actual salvation of sinners --> the arrival of the ransomed church in heaven --> the final judgement of evil and Christ's return to reign, victorious, forever!
1 peter 1.12 says, about the things of God's salvation of sinners... 'thing into which angels long to look.'
what stokes the angels? what gets these heavenly beings, who've never sinned and enjoy the physical presence and glory of God even right now, absolutely rivited with suspense? its exactly what we should be getting stoked about! the story of redemption!
let us not think that when this life is over, we'll be done with the gospel! revelation 5.11-12... even HEAVEN never gets over the gospel! the angels and the saints around the throne are worshiping right now in the SAME reality our worship should be founded in!!
'WORTHY is the LAMB who was SLAIN!'
9.15.2009
old testament and new testament -- equally relevent?
so i've recently been thinking about the old testament (OT) and the new testament (NT) and my view of them... and have been quite humbled by my perspective. i've always loved the OT, but i've found, to my shame, that i tend to look at it as a collection of narratives that show more of the judgement side of God's character than the mercy that is... and has always been... equally present and manifested. if God is eternal... and God is mercy... than God has always BEEN mercy, just as he is today... just as he is always just, and has always been just. his justice is no less present in the NT... and same with his mercy in the old. i was reading in A.W.Tozer's 'knowledge of the holy', and came across this:
'mercy is an attribute of God, an infinite and inexhaustible energy within the divine nature which disposes God to be actively compassionate. both the old and new testaments proclaim the mercy of God. but the old has more than four times as much to say about it as the new. we should banish from our minds forever the common but erroneous notion that justice and judgement caracterize the God of Israel, while mercy and grace belong to the Lord of the church. actually, there is in principle no difference between the old testament and the new. in the new testament scriptures there is a fuller development of redemptive truth, but one God speaks in both dispensations, and what he speaks agrees with what He is. wherever and whenever God appears to men, he acts like himself. whether in the garden of eden or the garden of gethsemane, God is merciful as well as just. he has always dealt in mercy with mankind and will always deal in justice when his mercy is despised. thus he did in atediluvian times; thus when Christ walked among men; thus he is doing today and will continue always to do for no other reason than that he is God.' --Tozer, 'Knowledge of the Holy', chptr 18
i've been going through Genesis, and my small group has been studying the book of Daniel over the last couple of months, and i have to say this is resounding loudly with me! growing up how i have, and being exposed to the incredible, Gospel centered teaching that i've been exposed to, its no new concept that the OT points forward to the Gospel, and the NT walks forward IN it... with the entirety of Scripture and our existance centered around it. but its also no secret that we as believers forget the obvious. and i'm thankful for the reminder. going through Daniel has been EVERY BIT as relevant to new testament living as Romans... just in different perspectives, but pointing at the same ultimate target - our supreme God, made accessible to us through Christ.
let us search the Scriptures... digest them and let them compose our existance... but let us not neglect the provisions of grace in the old testament in a false notion that they are any less 'relevant' to our lives today.
'for the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.' --hebrews 4.12 (esv)
'all Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.' --2 timothy 3.16-17 (esv)
'mercy is an attribute of God, an infinite and inexhaustible energy within the divine nature which disposes God to be actively compassionate. both the old and new testaments proclaim the mercy of God. but the old has more than four times as much to say about it as the new. we should banish from our minds forever the common but erroneous notion that justice and judgement caracterize the God of Israel, while mercy and grace belong to the Lord of the church. actually, there is in principle no difference between the old testament and the new. in the new testament scriptures there is a fuller development of redemptive truth, but one God speaks in both dispensations, and what he speaks agrees with what He is. wherever and whenever God appears to men, he acts like himself. whether in the garden of eden or the garden of gethsemane, God is merciful as well as just. he has always dealt in mercy with mankind and will always deal in justice when his mercy is despised. thus he did in atediluvian times; thus when Christ walked among men; thus he is doing today and will continue always to do for no other reason than that he is God.' --Tozer, 'Knowledge of the Holy', chptr 18
i've been going through Genesis, and my small group has been studying the book of Daniel over the last couple of months, and i have to say this is resounding loudly with me! growing up how i have, and being exposed to the incredible, Gospel centered teaching that i've been exposed to, its no new concept that the OT points forward to the Gospel, and the NT walks forward IN it... with the entirety of Scripture and our existance centered around it. but its also no secret that we as believers forget the obvious. and i'm thankful for the reminder. going through Daniel has been EVERY BIT as relevant to new testament living as Romans... just in different perspectives, but pointing at the same ultimate target - our supreme God, made accessible to us through Christ.
let us search the Scriptures... digest them and let them compose our existance... but let us not neglect the provisions of grace in the old testament in a false notion that they are any less 'relevant' to our lives today.
'for the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.' --hebrews 4.12 (esv)
'all Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.' --2 timothy 3.16-17 (esv)
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